








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Wingman | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2856 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2881 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3321 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,015,724 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sn0wybaby | 49% | 168 |
| #2 | e-grrrl | 48% | 422 |
| #3 | 1GigaB3nz | 48% | 155 |
| #4 | Jean Rean | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | EzG33sY | 45% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 815 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | EzG33sY | 534 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | sn0wybaby | 334 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | 1GigaB3nz | 103 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | GobsmackedPenguin | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |





