








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5421 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3837 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4246 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,798,166 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1GigaB3nz | 48% | 249 |
| #2 | king_cobra8 | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | e-grrrl | 46% | 416 |
| #4 | Fehleno | 45% | 222 |
| #5 | schafente | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | schafente | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | sn0wybaby | 44% | 191 |
| #7 | Jean Rean | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | GobsmackedPenguin | 36% | 64 |
| #9 | sarcasticeli | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 29 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Fehleno | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | sn0wybaby | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | 1GigaB3nz | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | schafente | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 1000 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | sn0wybaby | 424 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Fehleno | 225 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | 1GigaB3nz | 188 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jean Rean | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | +3.58 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | king_cobra8 | +1.57 | 78 | 13 |
| #3 | 1GigaB3nz | +1.05 | 27 | 45 |
| #4 | Jean Rean | +0.48 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | sn0wybaby | -0.14 | 74 | 45 |





