








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3207 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1781 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2217 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,875 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_LYFE_xXx | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Bubble | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | j4ff4p44 | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | Aleksanteri | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | tomofrussia | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manatser | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Teimo | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Dexy | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Aleksanteri | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Bubble | 3 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manatser | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Aleksanteri | 248 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #3 | Teimo | 246 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dexy | 200 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tomdyyd | 198 | 0.33 | 7 min |





