








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 626 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 170 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10700 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9354 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8268 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8460 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,061,610 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dexy | 47% | 259 |
| #7 | analithappi | 47% | 94 |
| #8 | nasse :-D | 46% | 85 |
| #9 | Teimo | 45% | 311 |
| #10 | Tiirasleep | 43% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teimo | 46 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Lil Hamad | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Tiirasleep | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Dexy | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Mc | 16 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teimo | 1291 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | Dexy | 988 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #3 | Mc | 857 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #4 | Lil Hamad | 601 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | not gay | 352 | 0.10 | 9 min |





