








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1977 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7097 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4607 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6046 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4402 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,322,531 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mc | 46% | 123 |
| #7 | Manatser | 45% | 311 |
| #8 | Lil Hamad | 41% | 69 |
| #9 | nasse :-D | 37% | 57 |
| #10 | not gay | 29% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manatser | 35 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Dexy | 24 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Tiirasleep | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | analithappi | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | maikki :D:D:D:D:D | 9 | 0.0070 |





