








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2898 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1191 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1735 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,219 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LateLJ | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | theb | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | analithappi | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Pipeman | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Tomdyyd | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Lapa | 41% | 34 |
| #14 | Wuppa | 36% | 14 |
| #15 | Masa | 30% | 10 |
| #16 | Denner | 25% | 12 |
| #17 | Manatser | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomdyyd | 773 | 0.37 | 26 min |
| #2 | Mandariinimanne | 478 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | analithappi | 205 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | theb | 147 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pipeman | 132 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masa | +1.40 | 62 | 57 |
| #2 | Aleksanteri | +1.19 | 55 | 71 |
| #3 | Pipeman | +0.87 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | theb | +0.84 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Bubble | +0.29 | 63 | 40 |





