








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2287 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2173 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1815 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,188 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juke | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | KingNaveed | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | :3 | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | biscuithead | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | SlimeGod | 49% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | biscuithead | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | SlimeGod | 49% | 88 |
| #6 | MommysRopeShooter | 47% | 109 |
| #7 | Moga | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Divinity | 45% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MommysRopeShooter | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | biscuithead | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | :3 | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Juke | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MommysRopeShooter | 135 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 94 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Moga | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Juke | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Divinity | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | +5.28 | 56 | 50 |
| #2 | :3 | +1.92 | 71 | 46 |
| #3 | MommysRopeShooter | -1.08 | 34 | 32 |
| #4 | Moga | -1.58 | 28 | 62 |
| #5 | KingNaveed | -1.86 | 19 | 46 |





