








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3838 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3549 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2312 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,147 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlimeGod | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | John | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | :3 | 46% | 115 |
| #4 | Moga | 44% | 81 |
| #5 | Divinity | 43% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Divinity | 43% | 63 |
| #6 | biscuithead | 41% | 44 |
| #7 | Juke | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | Owl | 32% | 37 |
| #9 | MommysRopeShooter | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :3 | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Moga | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | biscuithead | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | John | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moga | 211 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | John | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Juke | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | :3 | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Divinity | 55 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | +5.68 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | :3 | +2.71 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | KingNaveed | -1.07 | 19 | 44 |
| #4 | SlimeGod | -1.15 | 35 | 35 |
| #5 | Moga | -1.77 | 26 | 59 |





