








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 654 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1934 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,326 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FFflareon | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | John | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Divinity | 49% | 109 |
| #5 | MommysRopeShooter | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KingNaveed | 46% | 115 |
| #7 | Moga | 44% | 86 |
| #8 | Juke | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | biscuithead | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | matt ox | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matt ox | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | KingNaveed | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | SlimeGod | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | MommysRopeShooter | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Divinity | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moga | 221 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | KingNaveed | 175 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | John | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | SlimeGod | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Divinity | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | +5.65 | 67 | 51 |
| #2 | FFflareon | +3.64 | 45 | 15 |
| #3 | :3 | +2.48 | 60 | 45 |
| #4 | SlimeGod | -0.32 | 38 | 46 |
| #5 | KingNaveed | -0.92 | 20 | 50 |





