








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2537 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3759 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2223 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2590 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,016 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moga | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | FFflareon | 50% | 166 |
| #3 | :3 | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | biscuithead | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | SlimeGod | 45% | 380 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SlimeGod | 45% | 380 |
| #6 | John | 45% | 114 |
| #7 | KingNaveed | 43% | 63 |
| #8 | MommysRopeShooter | 42% | 170 |
| #9 | Juke | 41% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlimeGod | 35 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | FFflareon | 29 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | MommysRopeShooter | 28 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | :3 | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Juke | 10 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlimeGod | 560 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | Juke | 438 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | MommysRopeShooter | 257 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | FFflareon | 206 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | John | 144 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | +6.55 | 55 | 45 |
| #2 | :3 | +3.63 | 65 | 48 |
| #3 | FFflareon | +3.32 | 43 | 20 |
| #4 | SlimeGod | +0.21 | 37 | 42 |
| #5 | KingNaveed | -0.01 | 20 | 49 |





