








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 407 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5208 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3523 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4276 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3037 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,765,643 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1899 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Metro | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | ㅿ | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | bombman | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | Gulf | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gulf | 50% | 74 |
| #6 | Gn4rly Nobody | 50% | 258 |
| #7 | Joeshmoe | 49% | 72 |
| #8 | knxwledge | 48% | 267 |
| #9 | johnny | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gn4rly Nobody | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | knxwledge | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Metro | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | johnny | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ㅿ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knxwledge | 1186 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | Gn4rly Nobody | 589 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Gulf | 467 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #4 | johnny | 296 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Metro | 286 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +3.80 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Metro | +0.97 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Gulf | +0.78 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | Gn4rly Nobody | +0.70 | 58 | 59 |
| #5 | Joeshmoe | +0.61 | 68 | 61 |





