








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1114 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1213 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,480 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waxxy | 53% | 145 |
| #2 | Neweko | 52% | 114 |
| #3 | Bas1c(: | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | RTM | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | tumu(L)ec | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RTM | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | tumu(L)ec | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | zorux | 49% | 170 |
| #7 | banannoKSM | 49% | 116 |
| #8 | vXs | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas1c(: | 26 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | banannoKSM | 20 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Waxxy | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | zorux | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Neweko | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zorux | 661 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | banannoKSM | 313 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Waxxy | 236 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bas1c(: | 159 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Neweko | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vXs | +2.94 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | Waxxy | +2.29 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | Bas1c(: | +1.65 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | Zerion | +0.83 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | zorux | +0.28 | 73 | 67 |





