








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1779 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1840 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3562 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3987 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,212 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerion | 52% | 114 |
| #2 | Waxxy | 52% | 323 |
| #3 | banannoKSM | 49% | 308 |
| #4 | zorux | 48% | 388 |
| #5 | tumu(L)ec | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | zorux | 48% | 388 |
| #5 | tumu(L)ec | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | RTM | 47% | 215 |
| #7 | Bas1c(: | 47% | 208 |
| #8 | LeżyJedenSkibidi | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas1c(: | 53 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | banannoKSM | 51 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Waxxy | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | zorux | 23 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | RTM | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zorux | 1409 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | banannoKSM | 1078 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | Waxxy | 501 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | RTM | 377 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bas1c(: | 231 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waxxy | +3.09 | 81 | 42 |
| #2 | Bas1c(: | +2.30 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | Zerion | +0.92 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | zorux | +0.46 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | banannoKSM | -0.50 | 53 | 60 |





