








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1930 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2657 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2585 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2957 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,237 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeno | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Zerion | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | Waxxy | 49% | 283 |
| #4 | Neweko | 47% | 215 |
| #5 | zorux | 47% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zorux | 47% | 340 |
| #6 | banannoKSM | 47% | 255 |
| #7 | tumu(L)ec | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Bas1c(: | 44% | 143 |
| #9 | LeżyJedenSkibidi | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banannoKSM | 43 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Bas1c(: | 34 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Waxxy | 32 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | zorux | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Neweko | 17 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zorux | 1180 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | banannoKSM | 869 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Waxxy | 444 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Neweko | 313 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bas1c(: | 177 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waxxy | +3.07 | 80 | 42 |
| #2 | Bas1c(: | +1.55 | 71 | 40 |
| #3 | Zerion | +0.82 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | zorux | +0.81 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | banannoKSM | -0.42 | 54 | 59 |





