








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 66,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19180 | 29% |
| Smokes | 16520 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 17056 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 13994 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,631,270 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooShu | 57% | 142 |
| #2 | Archy | 56% | 162 |
| #3 | Supine | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | StarBoi | 51% | 219 |
| #5 | Huck | 51% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | meph | 47% | 97 |
| #10 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 47% | 319 |
| #11 | fappy228 | 47% | 85 |
| #12 | Peakaso | 47% | 107 |
| #13 | Radney | 40% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demonsar | 40 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | kAppz | 18 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | StarBoi | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Radney | 9 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kAppz | 2945 | 0.22 | 87 min |
| #2 | PAS | 1083 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #3 | StarBoi | 908 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #4 | Archy | 660 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #5 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 606 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archy | +3.41 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | PAS | +1.27 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Supine | +1.21 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | StarBoi | +1.09 | 62 | 72 |
| #5 | Huck | +0.46 | 72 | 51 |





