








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




254 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2394 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2317 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4355 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1076 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,929,108 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 858 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 49% | 334 |
| #2 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 48% | 603 |
| #3 | Tyhmä Kanamies | 46% | 158 |
| #4 | Sneaky Golem | 45% | 106 |
| #5 | Ooh cat | 45% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 48% | 603 |
| #3 | Tyhmä Kanamies | 46% | 158 |
| #4 | Sneaky Golem | 45% | 106 |
| #5 | Ooh cat | 45% | 172 |
| #6 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 38% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 203 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 130 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | Tyhmä Kanamies | 51 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | Sneaky Golem | 38 | 0.0183 |
| #5 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 20 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 3331 | 0.29 | 68 min |
| #2 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 827 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Ooh cat | 375 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sneaky Golem | 365 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tyhmä Kanamies | 326 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feathers McGraw | +4.25 | 83 | 32 |
| #2 | Sneaky Golem | -0.11 | 62 | 47 |
| #3 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | -0.96 | 34 | 57 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | -1.90 | 35 | 35 |
| #5 | Tyhmä Kanamies | -2.04 | 26 | 28 |





