








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2064 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1943 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2637 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1860 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,350 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 47% | 139 |
| #2 | Feathers McGraw | 46% | 158 |
| #3 | Ooh cat | 43% | 338 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 41% | 139 |
| #5 | Sneaky Golem | 40% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 47% | 139 |
| #2 | Feathers McGraw | 46% | 158 |
| #3 | Ooh cat | 43% | 338 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 41% | 139 |
| #5 | Sneaky Golem | 40% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneaky Golem | 55 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 53 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | Feathers McGraw | 51 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 28 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Ooh cat | 11 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | 809 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #2 | Ooh cat | 490 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sneaky Golem | 436 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Feathers McGraw | 239 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 228 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feathers McGraw | +4.20 | 87 | 34 |
| #2 | Sneaky Golem | +0.94 | 56 | 50 |
| #3 | ._A1M D3M0N_. | +0.25 | 27 | 57 |
| #4 | Tyhmä Kanamies | -0.93 | 33 | 34 |
| #5 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | -1.11 | 34 | 34 |





