








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2234 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3086 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,446,912 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RNG | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | One n' Nineteen More | 47% | 224 |
| #6 | Gnnorchi Soup | 45% | 95 |
| #7 | Capt. NeBeal | 44% | 63 |
| #8 | maxiepup | 42% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detroit Beatdown | 28 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Capt. NeBeal | 21 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Gnnorchi Soup | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | maxiepup | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | RNG | 9 | 0.0110 |





