








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6327 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6312 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6234 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5154 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,726 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiki76 | 65% | 127 |
| #2 | lovely | 63% | 94 |
| #3 | NatE | 62% | 218 |
| #4 | himothy | 61% | 189 |
| #5 | NBOMe | 61% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Detroit Beatdown | 57% | 110 |
| #7 | One n' Nineteen More | 54% | 74 |
| #8 | maxiepup | 54% | 63 |
| #9 | Dill pickle | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | Gnnorchi Soup | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBOMe | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Detroit Beatdown | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | NatE | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Gnnorchi Soup | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | himothy | 8 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NatE | 525 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | himothy | 525 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Detroit Beatdown | 491 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #4 | lovely | 419 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kiki76 | 198 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detroit Beatdown | +3.72 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | RNG | +2.22 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | lovely | +1.54 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Kiki76 | +0.67 | 57 | 62 |
| #5 | himothy | +0.59 | 49 | 58 |





