








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1675 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1467 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 5149 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 4584 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,889 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capt. NeBeal | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | Detroit Beatdown | 48% | 165 |
| #3 | RNG | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | One n' Nineteen More | 46% | 228 |
| #5 | Dill pickle | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detroit Beatdown | 39 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | maxiepup | 19 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Capt. NeBeal | 10 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | jschick67 | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | RNG | 8 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detroit Beatdown | 760 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | One n' Nineteen More | 582 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | maxiepup | 254 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | RNG | 168 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dill pickle | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detroit Beatdown | +7.01 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | RNG | +4.51 | 81 | 54 |
| #3 | Capt. NeBeal | +1.13 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | One n' Nineteen More | -0.06 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Gnnorchi Soup | -0.46 | 41 | 40 |





