








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 30% |
| Smokes | 952 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 794 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,728 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zR1 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Bongwater Brian | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Eiki-47 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | golee^ | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ♥ JWalker ♥ | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | Aron Olafs*** | 50% | 24 |
| #13 | Player1 | 50% | 36 |
| #14 | mariodawg | 43% | 7 |
| #15 | faRmer | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dónakarl | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | bjoerntastic | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player1 | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ☭ shineN4t [exp] | 81 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dónakarl | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aron Olafs*** | 48 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gvendur | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | golee^ | +2.93 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Bongwater Brian | +2.61 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Aron Olafs*** | +1.99 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | yungArk17ekt | +1.54 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | +1.38 | 75 | 73 |





