








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2935 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1886 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2647 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2216 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,238 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sterling | 100% | 12 |
| #2 | Noname | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | ddun | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | SýningarmaðuriNN | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 71% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | [GGRN]AronOlafs*** | 51% | 37 |
| #14 | faRmer | 50% | 34 |
| #15 | ♥ JWalker ♥ | 44% | 18 |
| #16 | HΛΛZΞ | 41% | 17 |
| #17 | Helios | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axel | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | bjoerntastic | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | golee | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Player1 'Dusilmenni | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player1 'Dusilmenni | 372 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 171 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Axel | 124 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | [GGRN]AronOlafs*** | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | golee | 84 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddun | +3.54 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | sterling | +2.20 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | ♥ JWalker ♥ | +2.04 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Helios | +1.79 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | golee | +1.56 | 64 | 57 |





