








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2389 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1935 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1797 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,166 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEsA | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | steezy squeezy | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | bjoerntastic | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | pósturinn p0llur | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | x/o khA9z | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | golee^ | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | Aprikosa | 50% | 24 |
| #13 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 50% | 32 |
| #14 | Player1 | 49% | 63 |
| #15 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | golee^ | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | TEsA | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | bjoerntastic | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Player1 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player1 | 203 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | TEsA | 173 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | DivisioN | 149 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dónakarl | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 129 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddun | +3.26 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | DivisioN | +2.70 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | elis.tor | +2.55 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | pósturinn p0llur | +1.76 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | golee^ | +1.47 | 70 | 61 |





