








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2651 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2423 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1880 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1948 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,818 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simen | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | Sega | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | sm|Nt | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 53% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sm|Nt | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 53% | 129 |
| #6 | fezzer | 49% | 67 |
| #7 | Gloomski | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | xof | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | fezzer | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Sega | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)/ braekke | 288 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | fezzer | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gloomski | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | xof | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schakalaka #Ivstar | +3.46 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | fezzer | +1.56 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | Simen | +1.22 | 46 | 49 |
| #4 | Sega | +0.76 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | xof | +0.54 | 61 | 60 |





