








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1195 | 44% |
| Smokes | 598 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 417 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,303 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lion | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | ustick | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | ionic | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Michael | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | rijyn | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4i | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Joscf | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ustick | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | rijyn | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ustick | 132 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lion | 122 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | N4i | 50 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Madbeetle | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dogg27 #TRUMP2024 | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rijyn | +3.20 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | N4i | +2.81 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | ionic | +2.65 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Lion | +2.12 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | milkman | +1.89 | 81 | 63 |





