








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3711 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4882 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4433 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2754 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,861 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost Ming | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | BENDER | Kai | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | ZuLu | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | Zeiju | 45% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | Zeiju | 45% | 92 |
| #6 | DrMedDenRasen | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | Jok3R | 37% | 30 |
| #8 | FallenGod | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeiju | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ZuLu | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | FRUCHTPanda | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | BENDER | Kai | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Jok3R | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrMedDenRasen | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ghost Ming | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zeiju | 64 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | 63 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | FallenGod | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yLeqiter | +0.13 | 59 | 55 |
| #2 | Zeiju | -0.01 | 47 | 38 |
| #3 | Jok3R | -0.13 | 50 | 50 |
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | -0.55 | 33 | 61 |
| #5 | DrMedDenRasen | -0.74 | 29 | 70 |





