








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2515 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3154 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4090 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3142 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,179,145 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeeDY | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | yLeqiter | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Synix ツ | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | NaVi | Akram | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Olek | 46% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Olek | 46% | 104 |
| #6 | iMPr35siVe | 42% | 55 |
| #7 | ᵉʳᵈberit ✪ ♥ | 39% | 38 |
| #8 | Udo Bauhelm | 36% | 47 |
| #9 | sKyTrEx | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udo Bauhelm | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | NaVi | Akram | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Olek | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | iMPr35siVe | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | yLeqiter | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olek | 227 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | sKyTrEx | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | yLeqiter | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | iMPr35siVe | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ᵉʳᵈberit ✪ ♥ | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeeDY | +4.55 | 62 | 48 |
| #2 | NaVi | Akram | +1.29 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Olek | +0.36 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | Synix ツ | -0.19 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | yLeqiter | -0.31 | 60 | 61 |





