








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2424 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4604 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3588 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2527 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,434 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠︎DaOma☠ | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | yLeqiter | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | FRUCHTPanda | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | k0dj^ ___//// | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Zeiju | 46% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jok3R | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | DirkEdelmann | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | ZuLu | 42% | 89 |
| #9 | FallenGod | 37% | 57 |
| #10 | Arnie | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeiju | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | k0dj^ ___//// | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | FallenGod | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ZuLu | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | DirkEdelmann | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeiju | 163 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #2 | ☠︎DaOma☠ | 121 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | FallenGod | 109 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | yLeqiter | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZuLu | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | +2.91 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | yLeqiter | +1.09 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | Jok3R | +0.41 | 53 | 46 |
| #4 | Zeiju | +0.37 | 51 | 46 |
| #5 | FRUCHTPanda | -0.94 | 33 | 65 |





