










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4711 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3215 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2649 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,970,926 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o0Sasaki0o | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Greenzombie | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Samu | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | ZuLu | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | UME Nero⛟ | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Angela Merkel | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | sw3Dreams | 45% | 74 |
| #9 | Zeiju | 44% | 131 |
| #10 | BENDER | Kai | 37% | 57 |
| #11 | yLeqiter | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angela Merkel | 21 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Greenzombie | 11 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | Samu | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | BENDER | Kai | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | sw3Dreams | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samu | 131 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | UME Nero⛟ | 125 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Greenzombie | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Angela Merkel | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | BENDER | Kai | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angela Merkel | +2.46 | 59 | 50 |
| #2 | Greenzombie | +2.37 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | Samu | +2.18 | 88 | 55 |
| #4 | sw3Dreams | +1.21 | 59 | 45 |
| #5 | Zeiju | +0.67 | 53 | 41 |





