








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,817 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5472 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3501 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2584 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $851,025 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Muffinmeistro | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | Hanna♡ | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | S0kken | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Justin Time | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Tøffluz | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Jokoor | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Kaptein Sabeltann | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Ràmon | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Justin Time | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Tøffluz | 466 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ràmon | 139 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 113 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Justin Time | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Salad | 111 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokoor | +3.83 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Kruger | +2.22 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | Justin Time | +1.98 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | +1.91 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | S0kken | +1.34 | 72 | 55 |





