








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1987 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3346 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2296 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,494 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 46% | 107 |
| #2 | Lilly | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Clyde#47 | 45% | 116 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 42% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Clyde#47 | 45% | 116 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 42% | 92 |
| #6 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 41% | 94 |
| #7 | Sparky™ | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Clyde#47 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sparky™ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Sarg3 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Dr. Greenthumb | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 442 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 198 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lilly | 103 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | +5.34 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Sparky™ | +0.62 | 50 | 25 |
| #3 | P!xelTerror!st™ | +0.21 | 39 | 58 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | -0.89 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | Clyde#47 | -1.09 | 11 | 47 |





