








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 608 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 294 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1681 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1927 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,000,899 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde#47 | 51% | 128 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 50% | 296 |
| #3 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 48% | 251 |
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 47% | 298 |
| #5 | Dr. Greenthumb | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 47% | 298 |
| #5 | Dr. Greenthumb | 46% | 59 |
| #6 | Sarg3 | 45% | 173 |
| #7 | iChuCky | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | Wickster | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 39 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Clyde#47 | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sarg3 | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 574 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 447 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 428 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 224 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | iChuCky | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | +3.33 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | +2.09 | 81 | 43 |
| #3 | iChuCky | +0.97 | 77 | 74 |
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | -0.41 | 36 | 51 |
| #5 | Sparky™ | -0.54 | 48 | 23 |





