








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 528 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1603 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4207 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6073 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5796 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,823,753 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde#47 | 56% | 119 |
| #2 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 51% | 302 |
| #3 | Sarg3 | 49% | 296 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 48% | 158 |
| #5 | Sparky™ | 47% | 298 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sarg3 | 49% | 296 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 48% | 158 |
| #5 | Sparky™ | 47% | 298 |
| #6 | Wickster | 41% | 94 |
| #7 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 40% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 44 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Sparky™ | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Sarg3 | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Clyde#47 | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 1014 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #2 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 577 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 162 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 156 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wickster | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | +3.88 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | +2.77 | 81 | 40 |
| #3 | P!xelTerror!st™ | -0.37 | 38 | 52 |
| #4 | Sparky™ | -0.54 | 49 | 25 |
| #5 | Clyde#47 | -1.85 | 13 | 41 |





