










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 787 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 651 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3399 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5932 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7591 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5861 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,861,691 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Greenthumb | 52% | 69 |
| #2 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 51% | 302 |
| #3 | Clyde#47 | 50% | 138 |
| #4 | Sparky™ | 48% | 251 |
| #5 | Sarg3 | 48% | 362 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sparky™ | 48% | 251 |
| #5 | Sarg3 | 48% | 362 |
| #6 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 45% | 75 |
| #7 | iChuCky | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | Wickster | 42% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparky™ | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Clyde#47 | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Sarg3 | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 1178 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 238 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | 119 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wickster | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Clyde#47 | 83 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | +3.25 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | +2.06 | 80 | 44 |
| #3 | iChuCky | +0.72 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | P!xelTerror!st™ | -0.68 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | Sparky™ | -0.75 | 48 | 24 |





