








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2926 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5505 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5589 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5583 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,008 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallen Do Mercadona | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | ✞ Ƥrɨm[e] ✞ | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Dosia do Continente | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | S1mple do LIDL | 51% | 635 |
| #5 | NiKo do Pingo Doce | 49% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dosia do Continente | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | S1mple do LIDL | 51% | 635 |
| #5 | NiKo do Pingo Doce | 49% | 234 |
| #6 | spring❀˖° | 46% | 95 |
| #7 | CRSN | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1mple do LIDL | 57 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | NiKo do Pingo Doce | 37 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | spring❀˖° | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | CRSN | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Fallen Do Mercadona | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1mple do LIDL | 2535 | 0.19 | 50 min |
| #2 | Fallen Do Mercadona | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | CRSN | 125 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✞ Ƥrɨm[e] ✞ | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | NiKo do Pingo Doce | 91 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AMMA_KamiKaze | +3.51 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | ✞ Ƥrɨm[e] ✞ | +2.36 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | Fallen Do Mercadona | +1.50 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | S1mple do LIDL | +0.53 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | NiKo do Pingo Doce | -2.35 | 41 | 50 |





