








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1580 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,698 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Seize | 42% | 36 |
| #11 | Quasi | 39% | 83 |
| #12 | DJ Longtube | 38% | 26 |
| #13 | Kichi | 33% | 18 |
| #14 | Hans Olo | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 37 | 0.0228 |
| #2 | Banjo lawrence | 28 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Hoedini | 27 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Sparkity | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Skellybro | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoedini | 460 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sparkity | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Banjo lawrence | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hans Olo | 186 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Comma | 157 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +3.62 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | Hoedini | +3.28 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | Tense1983 | +2.86 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | Sparkity | +2.49 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | Seize | +0.16 | 63 | 35 |





