








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 215 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7302 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6456 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7820 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5499 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,222,401 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pugdog | 60% | 81 |
| #2 | saQuon | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | ☯boe | 53% | 172 |
| #4 | JENNA TALES | 53% | 212 |
| #5 | KYAL | 53% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JENNA TALES | 116 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | Turbo Tax | 47 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | KYAL | 41 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | ☯boe | 26 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Pugdog | 18 | 0.0106 |





