








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2874 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 623 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2374 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,893 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pugdog | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | KYAL | 63% | 87 |
| #3 | ☯boe | 57% | 105 |
| #4 | Young Frank | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | phzaza | 53% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phzaza | 34 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Turbo Tax | 27 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | KYAL | 22 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | ☯boe | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Adobe Bean Pro | 12 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KYAL | 437 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | Turbo Tax | 426 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | phzaza | 419 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | saQuon | 83 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pugdog | 80 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KYAL | +4.82 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Pugdog | +2.31 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | phzaza | +1.39 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | phiLifer | +0.50 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | ☯boe | +0.06 | 74 | 43 |





