








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1676 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,380 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | 2mas | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | SethP | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Kranoli | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | ryan | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ryan | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Antifa Super Soldier | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | 2013 KennyT | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Blaine | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | you know i keep that thang on me | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryan | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kranoli | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | William | 88 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | 2mas | 51 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | 2013 KennyT | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | +5.80 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | 2013 KennyT | +2.12 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | SethP | +1.49 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | ryan | +0.85 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | Kranoli | +0.37 | 76 | 59 |





