








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 965 | 21% |
| Smokes | 862 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1447 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1289 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,886 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who is Mike? | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ekitten pussy slayer uwu <3 | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | pooped on my balls | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | breese | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Jace | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 320 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Blaine | 77 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Antifa Super Soldier | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rex0 | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | +1.89 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | ekitten pussy slayer uwu <3 | +1.65 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | 2013 KennyT | +1.43 | 82 | 61 |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | +1.20 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | you know i keep that thang on me | +0.62 | 63 | 54 |





