








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4082 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4421 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2879 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3620 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,270,298 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who is Mike? | 68% | 59 |
| #2 | William | 63% | 92 |
| #3 | SethP | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | makku | 61% | 79 |
| #5 | Rex0 | 61% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Antifa Super Soldier | 54% | 150 |
| #12 | Jacob | 54% | 26 |
| #13 | DanielS | 52% | 52 |
| #14 | you know i keep that thang on me | 52% | 83 |
| #15 | breese | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antifa Super Soldier | 37 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | you know i keep that thang on me | 26 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Blaine | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | 13 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Jacob | 8 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanielS | 517 | 0.45 | 15 min |
| #2 | William | 506 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Antifa Super Soldier | 376 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Blaine | 331 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Peachy [S] | 238 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | +4.26 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | Jacob | +2.15 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Kranoli | +1.98 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | +1.87 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | 2013 KennyT | +1.41 | 79 | 58 |





