








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1819 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,300 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STR | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Who is Mike? | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | makku | 67% | 64 |
| #4 | Peachy [S] | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Kranoli | 63% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jacob | 61% | 49 |
| #7 | Blaine | 58% | 36 |
| #8 | DanielS | 57% | 21 |
| #9 | sunZHU | 57% | 21 |
| #10 | Antifa Super Soldier | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antifa Super Soldier | 10 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Kranoli | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Peachy [S] | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | makku | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jacob | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 245 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | DanielS | 195 | 0.43 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jacob | 176 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | makku | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Antifa Super Soldier | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | +4.59 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Who is Mike? | +1.20 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Peachy [S] | +1.17 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | sunZHU | +1.07 | 83 | 51 |
| #5 | Kranoli | +0.90 | 65 | 65 |





