








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2512 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1842 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1791 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2457 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,398 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rex0 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Peachy [S] | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | William | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | you know i keep that thang on me | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | Kranoli | 56% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kranoli | 56% | 131 |
| #6 | Antifa Super Soldier | 56% | 88 |
| #7 | makku | 54% | 24 |
| #8 | 2013 KennyT | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | STR | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Antifa Super Soldier | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Peachy [S] | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | you know i keep that thang on me | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | William | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kranoli | 448 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | William | 187 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Peachy [S] | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Antifa Super Soldier | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rex0 | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | William | +3.67 | 85 | 81 |
| #2 | 2013 KennyT | +2.97 | 82 | 48 |
| #3 | Kranoli | +1.95 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Blaine | +1.86 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | Peachy [S] | +0.53 | 76 | 63 |





