








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 223 matches | ||
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5240 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3737 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4145 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2191 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,921 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | 55% | 121 |
| #2 | Jari Wonderchild | 53% | 116 |
| #3 | cru1s3r | 50% | 209 |
| #4 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 49% | 106 |
| #5 | Y3sse | 49% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jyced | 47% | 72 |
| #8 | haepis | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | Vanu | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | HÖYLÄ | 39% | 33 |
| #11 | LaTumbe | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | cru1s3r | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Jari Wonderchild | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Mige | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mige | 598 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | cru1s3r | 467 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Y3sse | 452 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | Meta | 432 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jari Wonderchild | 329 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haepis | +2.25 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | cru1s3r | +2.06 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | +1.97 | 44 | 68 |
| #4 | Y3sse | +1.70 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | Meta | +0.70 | 80 | 73 |





