








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5008 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4744 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3452 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3768 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,466 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyced | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | Keisari | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Y3sse | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Vanu | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Jari Wonderchild | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mige | 52% | 215 |
| #7 | Oiva | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | cru1s3r | 49% | 212 |
| #9 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 44% | 100 |
| #10 | LaTumbe | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jari Wonderchild | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Mige | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | cru1s3r | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Keisari | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y3sse | 597 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mige | 592 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | cru1s3r | 461 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | Keisari | 321 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 254 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cru1s3r | +2.51 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Y3sse | +1.68 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | +1.02 | 43 | 71 |
| #4 | Meta | +0.61 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Oiva | +0.04 | 76 | 58 |





