








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3443 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4640 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4008 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3550 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,536 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Reiska | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 50% | 64 |
| #10 | tiou | 49% | 41 |
| #11 | Keisari | 49% | 115 |
| #12 | Jari Wonderchild | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cru1s3r | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Mige | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Meta | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jyced | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mige | 993 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | cru1s3r | 628 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Meta | 510 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Keisari | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cru1s3r | +3.24 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | ph3nom | +2.51 | 93 | 70 |
| #3 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | +2.00 | 46 | 70 |
| #4 | Y3sse | +1.59 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | tiou | +1.28 | 58 | 50 |





