








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2244 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2435 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1627 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,796 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HÖYLÄ | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | haepis | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Meta | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Keisari | 53% | 116 |
| #5 | Vanu | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mige | 44% | 70 |
| #10 | LaTumbe | 42% | 38 |
| #11 | cru1s3r | 42% | 55 |
| #12 | Jyced | 38% | 29 |
| #13 | Y3sse | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mige | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Meta | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Keisari | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Vanu | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 391 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Keisari | 340 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Meta | 231 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mige | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | haepis | 153 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haepis | +2.18 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | cru1s3r | +1.95 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | +1.87 | 41 | 70 |
| #4 | Meta | +1.67 | 84 | 74 |
| #5 | Y3sse | +1.16 | 78 | 67 |





