








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 404 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3187 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6024 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4357 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4518 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,794 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cru1s3r | 55% | 359 |
| #2 | Jyced | 54% | 245 |
| #3 | Y3sse | 53% | 351 |
| #4 | ph3nom | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Meta | 52% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 49% | 123 |
| #9 | Reiska | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | Keisari | 48% | 159 |
| #11 | Jari Wonderchild | 44% | 70 |
| #12 | Vanu | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | cru1s3r | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Jyced | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Y3sse | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y3sse | 1394 | 0.18 | 40 min |
| #2 | cru1s3r | 820 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #3 | Meta | 749 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | Keisari | 362 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | 350 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cru1s3r | +3.06 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | ph3nom | +2.69 | 92 | 69 |
| #3 | Krisu Salamanca(raitistunut) | +2.20 | 49 | 69 |
| #4 | Y3sse | +1.66 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | tiou | +1.28 | 58 | 51 |





