








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 589 matches | ||
| Faceit | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8864 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8821 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8149 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7814 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,293,944 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoKZ | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | MaladCSGO | 58% | 86 |
| #3 | Don Jassdecheat | 58% | 81 |
| #4 | Aki | 56% | 185 |
| #5 | volt | 56% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Elium945 | 50% | 117 |
| #12 | jojolooping | 49% | 107 |
| #13 | A.D | 48% | 198 |
| #14 | Nox | 48% | 188 |
| #15 | light | 47% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A.D | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Aki | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ♿ froZenn__ | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | volt | 9 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volt | 1286 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #2 | Aki | 911 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #3 | A.D | 647 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | ♿ froZenn__ | 560 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #5 | Nox | 522 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | +1.94 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Globalito | +1.57 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | volt | +1.54 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | Aki | +1.32 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | MaladCSGO | +1.13 | 73 | 65 |





