








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3622 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3641 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3689 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3895 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,499 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicoleto | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | volt | 54% | 145 |
| #3 | ♿ froZenn__ | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | light | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | jojolooping | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | MaladCSGO | 48% | 42 |
| #10 | Aki | 47% | 120 |
| #11 | Elium945 | 45% | 55 |
| #12 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 40% | 108 |
| #13 | Don Jassdecheat | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Aki | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | jojolooping | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ♿ froZenn__ | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | 793 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | volt | 578 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | Aki | 511 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | jojolooping | 367 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nox | 205 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | +1.49 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Brax. | +1.47 | 89 | 84 |
| #3 | volt | +1.45 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | MaladCSGO | +1.30 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | Aki | +1.28 | 53 | 77 |





